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Here’s my reading of Mark Twain’s classic short story, How I Edited an Agricultural Paper, a seriously funny and trenchant look at both journalism and agriculture.

The guano is a fine bird, but great care is necessary in rearing it. It should not be imported earlier than June or later than September. In the winter it should be kept in a warm place, where it can hatch out its young.

It is evident that we are to have a backward season for grain. Therefore it will be well for the farmer to begin setting out his corn-stalks and planting his buckwheat cakes in July instead of August.

Concerning the pumpkin. This berry is a favorite with the natives of the interior of New England, who prefer it to the gooseberry for the making of fruit-cake, and who likewise give it the preference over the raspberry for feeding cows, as being more filling and fully as satisfying. The pumpkin is the only esculent of the orange family that will thrive in the North, except the gourd and one or two varieties of the squash. But the custom of planting it in the front yard with the shrubbery is fast going out of vogue, for it is now generally conceded that, the pumpkin as a shade tree is a failure.

MP3 Link

(Image: Small cotton house surrounded by agricultural fields, a Creative Commons Attribution (2.0) image from kheelcenter’s photostream)

Update: Sorry, I dropped a line in the original recording; just uploaded a fix

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Here’s part seven, the conclusion of my reading of my story-in-progress, Knights of the Rainbow Table, a story commissioned by Intel’s Chief Futurist, Brian David Johnson. Brian oversees Intel’s Tomorrow project, which uses science fiction to spark conversations about product design and use among Intel’s engineers, and he was kind enough to invite me to write a story of my choosing for the project. Intel gets first dibs on putting it online, but that’s it — I retain full creative control and the right to re-use it as I see fit.

Mastering by John Taylor Williams: wryneckstudio@gmail.com

John Taylor Williams is a full-time self-employed audio engineer, producer, composer, and sound designer. In his free time, he makes beer, jewelry, odd musical instruments and furniture. He likes to meditate, to read and to cook.

MP3 Link

/ / Podcast

Here’s part six of my reading of my story-in-progress, Knights of the Rainbow Table, a story commissioned by Intel’s Chief Futurist, Brian David Johnson. Brian oversees Intel’s Tomorrow project, which uses science fiction to spark conversations about product design and use among Intel’s engineers, and he was kind enough to invite me to write a story of my choosing for the project. Intel gets first dibs on putting it online, but that’s it — I retain full creative control and the right to re-use it as I see fit.

Mastering by John Taylor Williams: wryneckstudio@gmail.com

John Taylor Williams is a full-time self-employed audio engineer, producer, composer, and sound designer. In his free time, he makes beer, jewelry, odd musical instruments and furniture. He likes to meditate, to read and to cook.

MP3 Link

/ / Podcast

Here’s part five of my reading of my story-in-progress, Knights of the Rainbow Table, a story commissioned by Intel’s Chief Futurist, Brian David Johnson. Brian oversees Intel’s Tomorrow project, which uses science fiction to spark conversations about product design and use among Intel’s engineers, and he was kind enough to invite me to write a story of my choosing for the project. Intel gets first dibs on putting it online, but that’s it — I retain full creative control and the right to re-use it as I see fit.

Mastering by John Taylor Williams: wryneckstudio@gmail.com

John Taylor Williams is a full-time self-employed audio engineer, producer, composer, and sound designer. In his free time, he makes beer, jewelry, odd musical instruments and furniture. He likes to meditate, to read and to cook.

MP3 Link

/ / Podcast

Here’s part four of my reading of my story-in-progress, Knights of the Rainbow Table, a story commissioned by Intel’s Chief Futurist, Brian David Johnson. Brian oversees Intel’s Tomorrow project, which uses science fiction to spark conversations about product design and use among Intel’s engineers, and he was kind enough to invite me to write a story of my choosing for the project. Intel gets first dibs on putting it online, but that’s it — I retain full creative control and the right to re-use it as I see fit.

Mastering by John Taylor Williams: wryneckstudio@gmail.com

John Taylor Williams is a full-time self-employed audio engineer, producer, composer, and sound designer. In his free time, he makes beer, jewelry, odd musical instruments and furniture. He likes to meditate, to read and to cook.

MP3 Link

/ / Podcast

Here’s part three of my reading of my story-in-progress, Knights of the Rainbow Table, a story commissioned by Intel’s Chief Futurist, Brian David Johnson. Brian oversees Intel’s Tomorrow project, which uses science fiction to spark conversations about product design and use among Intel’s engineers, and he was kind enough to invite me to write a story of my choosing for the project. Intel gets first dibs on putting it online, but that’s it — I retain full creative control and the right to re-use it as I see fit.

Mastering by John Taylor Williams: wryneckstudio@gmail.com

J ohn Taylor Williams is a full-time self-employed audio engineer, producer, composer, and sound designer. In his free time, he makes beer, jewelry, odd musical instruments and furniture. He likes to meditate, to read and to cook.

MP3 Link

/ / Podcast

Here’s part two of my reading of my story-in-progress, Knights of the Rainbow Table, a story commissioned by Intel’s Chief Futurist, Brian David Johnson. Brian oversees Intel’s Tomorrow project, which uses science fiction to spark conversations about product design and use among Intel’s engineers, and he was kind enough to invite me to write a story of my choosing for the project. Intel gets first dibs on putting it online, but that’s it — I retain full creative control and the right to re-use it as I see fit.

Mastering by John Taylor Williams: wryneckstudio@gmail.com

J ohn Taylor Williams is a full-time self-employed audio engineer, producer, composer, and sound designer. In his free time, he makes beer, jewelry, odd musical instruments and furniture. He likes to meditate, to read and to cook.

MP3 Link

/ / News, Podcast

I have a short story called “Shannon’s Law” in the new Welcome to Bordertown anthology, the first Bordertown book in decades. I was absolutely delighted to be invited to contribute a story, and had a fun time writing my piece, which is about the application of information theory to the problem of bridging the lands of Faerie with the mundane world. Escape Pod will be podcasting the story shortly as well:


The Net’s secret weapon is that it doesn’t care what kind of medium it runs over. It wants to send a packet from A to B, and if parts of the route travel by pigeon, flashing mirrors, or scraps of paper cranked over an alleyway on a clothesline, that’s okay with the Net. All that stuff is slower than firing a laser down a piece of fiber-optic, but it gets the job done.

At BINGO, we do all of the above, whatever it takes to drop a node in where a customer will pay for it. Our tendrils wend their way out into the Borderlands. At the extreme edge, I’ve got a manticore trapper on contract to peer into the eyepiece of a fey telescope every evening for an hour. He’s the relay for a kitchen witch near Gryphon Park whose privy has some magick entanglement with the hill where he sits. When we can’t get traffic over Danceland in Soho because the spellboxes that run the amps and the beer fridges are fritzing out our routers, our kitchen witch begins to make mystic passes over her toilet, which show up as purple splotches through the trapper’s eyepiece. He transcribes these—round splotches are zeroes, triangular splotches are ones—in 8-bit bytes, calculates their checksum manually, and sends it back to the witch by means of a spelled lanthorn that he operates with a telegraph key affixed to it with the braided hair of a halfie virgin (Tikigod’s little sister, to be precise). The kitchen witch confirms the checksum, and then he sends it to another relay near the Promenade, where a wharf rat who has been paid handsomely to lay off the river water for the night counts the number of times a tame cricket sings and hits a key on a peecee in time with it. The peecee pops those packets back into the Net, where they are swirled and minced and diced and routed and transformed into coffee, purchase orders, dirty texts, desperate pleas from parents to runaways to come home, desperate pleas from runaways to their parents to send money, and a million Facebook status updates.

Mostly, this stuff runs. On average. I mean, in particular, it’s always falling apart for some reason or another. Watch me knock some heads and you’ll get the picture.

The heliographer’s tower is high atop The Dancing Ferret. Everyone told me that if Farrel Din could be persuaded to get involved with BINGO, all of Soho would follow, so I did some homework, spread some money around, and then I showed up one day with a wheelbarrow filled with clothbound books that I’d had run up by the kids who put out Stick Wizard.

Shannon’s Law

Update: The Escape Pod podcast is live! (here’s the MP3)