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Down and Out poetry remix

Tim Bennett has done a fantastic text remix of Down and Out. He says, "The text was generated by separating the novel's sentences onto separate lines. Then I sorted them alphabetically from the last letter, to the first, so that sentences would cluster in roughly rhyming groups. From that process I refined the rhymes and constructed a short narrative."

The sun was warm on my skin, and the flowers were in bloom
I woke disoriented and crabby, without my customary morning jolt of endorphin
I lurched out of the bed, naked, and thumped to the bathroom
I nearly started crying right then

I foraged a slice of bread with cheese and noticed a crumby plate in the sink
Lil shot me a look - she looked ready to wring my neck
She set her mug down with a harder-than-necessary clunk
I was an emotional wreck

I was hyperventilating, light-headed
"Lil," I said, then stopped
I hated how pathetic I sounded
Lil folded her arms and glared

I threw my glass at the wall
She went nuts
Now I wanted to hit something besides the wall
I looked inside myself, and I saw that I didn't have the guts

One Response to “Down and Out poetry remix”

1. Yahya Abdal-Aziz says:

   October 13, 2006 at 7:59 am

   Clever, creative and insightful work there by Tim.

   As to clever: I like Tim's trick for creating near-rhymes (Tim, did you invent this? Your rhymoids *will* be copied); it's very easy to do; and because words spelled with the same or similar endings *may* only *once* have rhymed in an earlier version of English, it broadens the notion of rhyme to a larger class of words, adds speech colour, and avoids the jingly sound of closely repeating rhyme schemes that are the stuff of doggerel.

   As to creative: that broader notion of rhyme offers untold opportunities for choosing the mot juste, while retaining assonance.

   As to insightful: well, I wasn't only punning; one can see Tim takes emotional responses seriously.

   Thank you, Cory and Tim, for a nice specimen of hybrid vigour. Hey Tim, what was that about wanting Cory's baby? ;-)

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